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PHOTOGRAPHY BY FRAN DOMÍNGUEZ // MAKEUP&HAIR BY ANN BORGHELT // CAROLINE @ MODELBOOKING

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So you wanna be a hater?

So you wanna be a hater huh?

More specifically my hater?

First let me take a moment to thank you for your interest in becoming one of my many haters, before we get started there’s a few things that need to be covered, and since the majority of my haters are retarded I’m going to make shit nice and simple for you. In order to become my hater first you must hate me.

Reasons why you should hate me?

1. I get more pussy than you, for real, that bitch you were chasing for a year who shit all over you while you bought her dinner, shoes, and all that. Yeah that hot barbie bitch, I fucked her, 2 weeks it took me, and I didn’t even try, I didn’t spend a dime on her ass, and she’s hooked on my dick, but guess what? She annoyed the fuck outta me so I told her ass to get lost.

2. I turn down more, and better pussy than you will ever get.

3. I’m gettin paid, I’m goin places, your ass is gonna be stuck in the same town, workin te same lame job, barely scrapin by, and my ass is gonna be sippin margaritas, on a beach, gettin my dick sucked by YOUR GIRL, (yeah that bitch you think is loyal to you that you wait hand and foot on and feed and provide for is out pampering some nigga like me) while losers like you work for me and make my ass rich.

4. I can move mountains barely lifting a finger, I don’t work harder than you, I work smarter than you, I am smarter than you.

5. You’re fucking retarded.

6. You will never be me.

Now that we’ve covered the basics and you feel envious we’re on the right track. Bare with me, we’re almost done.

Now that you are officially a hater your jobs are simple.

1. Help make my ass rich and famous by talking shit about me and how much you hate me to everyone you know, I am a piece of shit, I’m arrogant, conceited, and that bitch you got your eye on loves me for it.

2. That’s it, now when you’re no longer interested in being a hater please do the human species’ gene pool a favor and kill yourself.

Thanks for reading, and thanks for hating.

It’s been a long time… Starting to feel like “me” again… Maybe it’s the drugs, maybe it’s the sleep deprivation. Or maybe it’s just that feeling you get when shit just hit the fan and you’re just left staring, with your mouth open… Either way. Here I am.

moneyandjoy

Rent anything for free

moneyandjoy

This one is pretty much common sense, however, we all have those moments when so called common sense wasn’t so common.

Buy something you need to rent from a local Walmart, or other store with a flexible return policy. Walmart allows 90 days with the receipt for most things

When finished, simply return it for your money back.

Keep the following in mind:

  • Always save your receipt, duh.
  • Make sure the item you purchase does not have a different return policy than typical; ie: electronics only have a 14 day return policy, and some items are not eligible for returns. However, some employees may grant you the refund regardless. If they refuse the first time, try again. Or try a different Walmart.
  • Try your absolute best to keep the packaging and item in perfect condition.

BONUS: You can also rent used games for a week from Gamestop like this. Repeating this over and over at the same location may cause the manager to become a little pissy.

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